My mother and I, we are alike.
I wonder why my mother couldn’t love another man
even after she divorced him.
It was on a summer’s eve
as she trembled and held the divorce papers to her chest
She did what was 5 years in the making
and then it happened.
I wonder why,
every time she kisses her lover
she imagines my father.
They say first love never dies
but it’s not supposed to feel this way forever.
I look at the sadness in her eyes
as she regrets every decision she’s made
when it came to tearing an unhappy family apart
Why do people only change,
after the family has been ripped apart?
I look at my mother, who fell in love at my age
and married, and then divorced
and then fills her heart with regret
and I wonder,
oh I wonder,
if that will happen to me too.
I clutch my chest, unable to bear the pain
It hasn’t happened yet but what if it does?
For my story, similar to hers.
I see the look in my boyfriend’s eyes and I picture the rest of my life
but what if, 15 years down the road
it all falls apart?
Our 5 year anniversary is nothing compared to our would be 30th.
How can I bear the pain of a divorce
How can I bear the pain of losing you
How can I bear the pain my mother endures every day
My cynicism will be the death of us.
A divorce; that wrecked my soul
and my mother’s.